How I feel 583 days after the death of my baby. 


 Up thinking about my baby like…

Lord, why do I let these demons chase me? They’re trying to make me blame myself for his demise, when I know it was your will Lord. Help me mend my heart I know it’s going to take some time but I’m willing to try.

 I need some peace of mind, some closure to ease my mind on. Nights like this when I can’t stop thinking about all the things that went wrong or how he would be today if he was still with me. Yea, I know he’s in my heart but I’m talking physically. 

My heart  yearns for his touch,  the touch of his urn is not enough. 

 I need to feel your hand grip my fingers and rub my hand on your gorgeous head. I miss those late nights at Children’s staring at you sleep then waking up at 5 am just to watch you open your eyes and cry . Those were my happiest moments, especially holding you. I had the whole world in my hands with you I didn’t need nothing.

All I want to do is go back to the time when you were  in my womb. Laying on my ribcage, remember how I was your favorite sleeping place.  

I miss you G3 & I love you more than you could ever imagine 💙 

You were the strongest person I’ve ever met! Extraordinary resilience with a powerful presence I am so proud to be your mama.


 I’m honored to have carried a warrior in my womb ✨👶👊

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